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How do I fix myself?

Posted on August 16, 2017

A couple of months ago my sister ( God bless you!) got me a birthday present to go and see the amazing Iyanla Vanzant in London. I remember sitting on the plane down there thinking this is one step closer to meeting my ‘imaginary’ mentor Oprah Winfrey…LOL. I was not entirely ready for what I experienced that night. Iyanla blew me away, her honesty, her sass just took my thinking to a whole new level.

Iyanla shared with us a great wealth of wisdom and one of the things I took home with me was her guide on ‘how to fix yourself.’ As a woman I have gone through far too much pain for a human to take. I have struggled with childhood traumas, bad relationships, stupid choices and even my health. Each of these experiences have made me who I am today but boy did they mess up my mind FOR FAAAR TOO LONG!!!

You really don’t realise how your childhood experiences affect you as an adult until you find yourself dating some loser…cheating, violent and broke (would you allow your child to be cared for by someone like that?). Or when you are surrounded by girls whose main objective is to bag a rich man (why don’t you get an education and start that business or work towards getting that dream job instead?). Every friendship you have fails because of your actions. You easily take marital advice from a person who has been divorced 3 times or someone who does not even have a boyfriend…If you or a loved one became sick would you take them to an Accountant?? Why are you so angry? Always arguing and always have to be right…SMH.

There comes a point in your life when you realise that its not them its ME. That is the point you really start healing and the point where you can start fixing your self. I had to dig deep. I got rid of the noise (fake friends, guilt, shame) and I embraced the woman God created me to be. So let me be real with you…I had to re-evaluate my relationship with God and from there He directed me. I am here today because of Him.

Discover the beauty within and then the real beauty all around you will emerge. I live in the Highlands of Scotland (Gods country) I am surrounded by the beauty of the native Scots pine in the Caledonian forests, the majestic Black Cullins on Isle of Skye, the great Estates where stately homes and castles have stood for centuries. This beauty challenges me daily to walk, to think and to talk.

Recently I visited Trumpan Church, Kilmuir which is now a ruin, once a place of worship…still is when you step into the ruin…there is a stillness that overwhelms you. Despite the brutal incident of 1578 I am reminded that life is fragile and I must live as God made me to live it.

 

Iyanla suggested some steps on how to fix yourself to get a fuller picture on this please buy some of her books…

: my thoughts are in brackets.

  1. Have a daily spiritual practice, connect with your centre…still the mind. ( If the first thing you do when you wake up is check your phone then you will become just like the things you follow. You are alive – thank the God that woke you up not Mark Zuckerbergs 3 social media platforms)
  2. Get yourself a theme song and live it! ( look it does not have to be a christian song just anything that motivates you and speaks to you on the inside – her song is Its my time – Kelly Price)
  3. Have a vision that pulls you forward. ( at this point if you do not have a vision we really can not be friends *rolls eyes*)
  4. Forgive everyone and yourself ( If you still hold bitterness over something that happened years ago even yesterday please watch this 4 part sermon by Pastor Howard-John Wesley)
  5. Adapt a gratitude attitude. (look stop moaning and thank God that you are able to even read this blog)

Take care of yourself…look inside!

@highlandwag

 

Comments: 22

    22 Comments on “How do I fix myself?

    Cee
    August 16, 2017 at 5:02 pm

    Truth!

    Reply
    Highlandwag
    August 16, 2017 at 6:29 pm
    Sybill Ford
    August 16, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    This is awesome. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    Highlandwag
    August 16, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    Thank you so much!

    Reply
    Albie
    August 16, 2017 at 6:42 pm

    Iyanla is my Queen and imaginary mentor when I needs to have a wisdom conversation with myself. Spiritual practice is a must – for me it’s my gratitude walk through the forest every morning, it fixes everything. It’s the one time I pray and my prayer to the universe is thank you, for any and everything I can think and I never run out of blessings.

    Reply
    Highlandwag
    August 16, 2017 at 6:44 pm

    ‘Gratitude walk’ I love that!!

    Reply
    Lorr
    August 16, 2017 at 8:33 pm

    Journey to self healing and realisation…battlefield of the mind…positive thinking and gratitude….well done great words

    Reply
    Highlandwag
    August 16, 2017 at 10:10 pm

    Thank you so much!

    Reply
    Flo
    August 16, 2017 at 9:50 pm

    Powerful sis!! I’m loving this so much.
    I feel you deeply and this is why I do my voluntary nursing charity work. It makes me feel and connects me to another realm few understand. I’m going again to Ethiopia for 3 weeks of hard grafting doing God’s work for my unfortunate brothers and sisters.xx

    Reply
    Highlandwag
    August 16, 2017 at 10:09 pm

    Thank you so much! May God bless you abundantly!

    Reply
    Wellaz
    August 17, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    Fascinating indeed Sis. This is a thought provoking piece of writing. It depicts how as humans we develop into explorers of Many disciplines and feel a sense of achievement when we win trophies for our discoveries. Yet the one place, we fail to explore or only begin to delve into at a much later stage In life in “The inside of you”. It feels like our identity evolves or changes colour to blend us into whichever environment is nursing us at any point in time. The journey of exploring oneself is cyclic, I feel. Sometimes you go round and round then end up where you started. Maybe where you started that is where you were meant to be but but you could never know how good something is until you have seen worse. It is like getting divorced four times and end with your first partner. Should you think about the time wasted? Should I have? Could I have? Only if ….Or Maybe just move on because time does not wait for procrastinators and hesitators. Like you said most of the time it is “you”. Self fulfilment is about how you explore the inside of you and relate to what is going on around you. That said, If God is the centre of your exploration of “you” then you will feel like someone writing an examination with a book of answers. We are all hamsters but God can stop the wheel anytime you ask and when you get out of the wheel you realise you travelled for miles but was not going anywhere. Like a baby you make your first steps. So thank you for making who ever is going to read your blog to realise that they are in a big wheel and Facebook, Whatsapp, Politicians, the Sun, the Mirror, CNN, BBC, Educators,, Ecomists, Entertainers etc are tiurning the wheel for them and they will keep on going until they are worn out cabbages. You will touch many by your reflective thoughts.

    Reply
    Highlandwag
    August 18, 2017 at 10:50 am

    Thank you so much brother!Thank YOU for your thoughts too. I love the hamster analogy!!

    Reply
    Nyasha
    August 18, 2017 at 12:20 am

    Wow…all I can say is To God Be The Glory…so proud of you and Let Faith arise in you hun for He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all we could ever ask or imagine….tnks love, very encouraging!!

    Reply
    Highlandwag
    August 18, 2017 at 10:47 am

    He is able!!! Amen and thank you!

    Reply
    Fiona O Regan
    August 18, 2017 at 10:27 am

    Thank you for your honesty and for being so real….God bless you as you journey with Him…

    Reply
    Highlandwag
    August 18, 2017 at 10:46 am

    Thank you Fiona, amen and amen!

    Reply
    Nomusa
    August 24, 2017 at 8:12 am

    Beautifully written. Yes childhood trauma’s do affect our adulthood and this is so true. One can see or hear the sounds of those troubles and it never leaves us. At some point in life there comes a time when you one needs to face the demons and move on. I can relate to what you have written but l am free now.
    Thank you so much for sharing and it does uplift my spirit and have hope.
    God bless you

    Reply
    Highlandwag
    August 24, 2017 at 8:25 am

    Oh amen my sister! May more of us reach that point in life when we heal, let go and let God!

    Reply
    Carol
    August 28, 2017 at 12:15 pm

    Love love!! Iyanla Vanzant…. So much truth in your blog….thought provoking! Thanks for sharing …
    Keep well & God bless xx

    Reply
    Highlandwag
    August 28, 2017 at 1:29 pm

    Thank you Carol! Be blessed x

    Reply
    Rose
    August 28, 2017 at 11:59 pm

    I love this! It speaks to me on so many levels! Boy do I still have a long long way to go. But I have faith that I will get to where God has destined me to be and I know exactly the areas of myself I need to work on to get there. Thank you for this beautiful piece, it actually nudged me to act. Super proud of you my love ❤️

    Reply
    Highlandwag
    August 29, 2017 at 6:03 am

    Oh baby I love you & I live for your success! Thank you for that review! Can’t wait to laugh about what that nudge was about!

    Reply

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